The League of Alphabetical Madmen (S-Z)

Category: Cussin' In Tongues
Created on Friday, 16 February 2018 Written by Steve

Here’s the last batch of Alphabetical Madmen. Introduction and A-I are hereClick here for J-R. 

The Siberian 

  • Real Name: Oleg Yusov
  • Specialty: Assassin
  • Secret Weapon: Cold Powers
  • Evil Plan: Bring back the cold war. Get it? COLD War. 
  • WWPHITM? Rade Serbedzija
  • Notes: Always has beef jerky.                                                                                                     

Tiger Shark 

  • Real Name: Barry Hester 
  • Specialty: Can shapeshift into a tiger or a shark. 
  • Secret Weapon: Can also shapeshift into an owl. Doesn’t do it very often. 
  • Evil Plan: Doesn’t have one yet. Right now he’s just focusing on Barry. 
  • WWPHITM? Jason Momoa 
  • Notes: All the other Madmen laugh at him because he’s basically Manimal. 

Uncle Uranium 

  • Real Name: Liam Mitchell
  • Specialty: Children’s Entertainer
  • Secret Weapon: Radiation Powers
  • Evil Plan: Just really enjoys giving kids cancer. 
  • WWPHITM? Robin Williams
  • Notes: Nobody is entirely comfortable having Uncle Uranium as a league member, but “U” Madmen are really hard to find. 

The Mad Viking 

  • Real Name: Aksel Oszloo
  • Specialty: Raiding under-defended coastal and island nations
  • Secret Weapon: A decommissioned Yugoslavian battleship he bought on eBay
  • Evil Plan: Rule the Seas
  • WWPHITM? Alexander Skarsgard with epic facial hair 
  • Notes: Grew up in Wabasha, Minnesota 

Professor Weirdstone

  • Real Name: Dr. Sydney Weirdstone
  • Specialty: Dada
  • Secret Weapon: Ability fundamentally alter localized reality. 
  • Evil Plan: To rewrite the Akashic Record into The Great Post-Modern Surrealist Novel 
  • WWPHITM? Tilda Swinton
  • Notes: Dresses like a formally-attired Bowie. 

X, the Multi-Dimensional Man 

  • Real Name: Varies 
  • Specialty: Ability to travel between dimensions
  • Secret Weapon: Self-awareness of extra-dimensional selves 
  • Evil Plan: Unclear 
  • WWPHITM? Ben Affleck from Mallrats
  • Notes: X is really smarmy and nobody likes him, but every time he dies a new version of him appears. This allows him to avoid a break in membership in accordance with the Captain Clone bylaw of 1994. Some have attempted to oust him on the grounds that he should be considered an “M” because he’s “The Multi-Dimensional Man,” but the Names Committee has ruled that everything after the comma should be considered a title, like “esquire” or “The Terror of Chattanooga.” 

Yankee Doodle Fuck You

    • Real Name: Unknown

      Yankee Doodle Fuck You

    • Specialty: Super Soldier 
    • Secret Weapon: Extremely Unpredictable 
    • Evil Plan: None. He’s not “violent psychopath” insane. He’s more “socially inappropriate, walk around with no pants, urinate in public, and scream obscenities” insane. It’s no secret, however, that he’s only a member of the League of Alphabetical Madmen at the bidding of The Lady With No Hat, who almost certainly has an evil plan.  
    • WWPHITM? Roddy Piper 
    • Notes: His costume consists of a colonial army uniform without pants. The media usually refers to him as “Yankee Doodle Danger.” 

[Editor's Note: Yankee Doodle Fuck You was created (and drawn) by Leighton Connor. You can find QAGS stats for Mr. Fuck You in All-Stars: A Game of Low-Budget Superheroics]

Zynxolyranessa Zardust  

  • Real Name: Zynxolyranessa Zardust
  • Specialty: Evil Space Elf 
  • Secret Weapon: Evil Space Elf Magic 
  • Evil Plan: Prepare for the coming of the Evil Space Elf invasion fleet
  • WWPHITM? Milla Jovovich 
  • Notes: Considers the roller coaster to be humanity’s greatest achievement

©2012 by Hex Games
The League of Alphabetical Madmen (S-Z).
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