Tuesday Table: What’s In His Pocketses?

Book of Dumb Tables 2 Cover Illustration by Joshua LH Burnett

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In most stories and movies, the heroes rarely go through the pockets of their fallen foes unless they’ve got good reason to do so–for example, if they need a weapon or ammo or they need the enemy’s key card to make their escape. Thanks to D&D, however, characters in RPGs regularly heroically search through the pockets of their enemies for no other reason than “they might have something cool.” On the bright side, at least the practice of rooting around in a defeated enemy’s intestines for gemstones hasn’t crossed over to other genres. When characters decide to desecrate the corpses of bad guys in a modern game, you can use this table.

 

  1. A Possible Clue
  2. Pepper Spray
  3. Safety Deposit Box Key
  4. Prescription Drugs
  5. Lighter
  6. Cell Phone
  7. Company ID Badge
  8. Chap Stick
  9. Chewing Gum
  10. House or Office Key
  11. 2d20 Dollars & 5d20 Cents
  12. Car Keys
  13. Gas or Food Receipt
  14. Breath Mints
  15. Pocket Knife
  16. Illicit Drugs
  17. MP3 Player
  18. USB Drive
  19. Gun
  20. Something Incriminating

 

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