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This set of dumb tables lets you create a random one-shot game using characters from pop culture. It’s sort of like The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, only with much dumber source material (we call the 80s TV version we run at cons “The League of Kick-Ass Dudes”). For these tables, I’m going to use the Five-Man Band team structure (see TV Tropes for more information) and add a Sixth Ranger (who may be a mentor, a zeppo, or whatever) just for shits and gigles. I’ll also give you a villain, but figuring out the plot and how the team ended up together is up to the GM.
The Leader
For purposes of these tables, we’re going to assume that the Leader is Murtaugh and The Lancer is Riggs. If the combination you roll up seems like it would work better with the roles reversed, by all means make the Lancer the Leader and the Leader the Lancer.
- Mark Wahlberg character of your choice
- Somerset O’Neil
- Ron Swanson
- Marge Gunderson
- Ethan Hunt
- Roger Murtaugh
- Veronica Mars
- Dominic Toretto
- Seth Gecko
- Sarah Connor
- Darius Stone
- Nathan Ford
- Agent Dana Scully
- Winston Wolfe
- John Winchester
- John “Hannibal” Smith
- Lieutenant Abbie Mills
- Agent Dale Cooper
- Luz/She
- Robert Redford character of your choice
The Lancer
- Nicholas Cage character of your choice
- Raven McCoy
- Bo Duke
- Veronica Sawyer
- Agent J
- Jack Burton
- Dylan Sanders
- Vincent Vega
- Peter Venkman
- Sam Axe
- Richard Castle
- Foxy Brown
- Nick Sax
- Jessica Jones
- Walter Sobchak
- Mr. Furious
- Cherry Darling
- Inspector Tequila Yuen
- Chev Chelios
- Bruce Willis character of your choice
The Smart Guy
- Seth Green character of your choice
- The Black Fox
- Velma Dinkley
- Abed Nadir
- Ferris Bueller
- Martin Byrde
- Doc Brown
- Buckaroo Banzai
- Ravi Chakrabarti
- Gregory House
- Peter Bishop
- Willow Rosenberg
- Colin “Chaos” Mason
- Gil Grissom
- Angus MacGyver
- Felicity Smoak
- Q (Bond, not Star Trek)
- Temperance Brennan
- Alan Fucking Moore
- Harrison Wells of your choice
The Big Guy
Instead of a literal big guy, we’re going to use this role for the team combat monster. He or she may or may not be technically big or even a guy.
- Chuck Norris character of your choice
- The Japanese Fox
- Arnold Schwarzenegger character of your choice
- Marv
- Major Lillywhite
- Dean Winchester
- Tura Satana
- Max Guevera
- Bullet-Tooth Tony
- Melinda May
- Elliot Spencer
- Lincoln Hawk
- Sex Machine
- Alice
- The Bride
- Buffy Summers
- Machete
- Chow Yun-Fat character of your choice
- Jackie Chan character of your choice
- The Rock character of your choice
The Chick
Since The Chick’s main characteristic is often the actress playing the role, we’re just going to list some action/sf/horror/whatever actresses here.
- Felicia Day
- The French Fox
- Uma Thurman
- Angelina Jolie
- Jennifer Lawrence
- Lucy Liu
- Ronda Rousey
- Gina Carrano
- Zoe Bell
- Pam Grier
- Michelle Yeoh
- Gina Torres
- Michelle Rodriguez
- Emilia Clarke
- Zoe Saldana
- Summer Glau
- Devon Aoki
- Scarlett Johansson
- Adrianne Palicki
- Charlize Theron
The Sixth Ranger
- A character’s imaginary friend
- Snapper Carr
- Jay & Silent Bob
- Wednesday Addams
- An Elvis Impersonator
- A Talking Dog
- Batboy
- Bigfoot
- Saul Goodman
- Kimmy Gibbler
- Alf
- Starburns
- Leo Gets
- Merlin, but he’s senile
- Earl Hickey
- Xander Harris
- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
- Neil Patrick Harris as Himself
- The Dude
- Narration by Ron Howard
The Big Bad
- Gary Oldman character of your choice
- Kevin Bacon as himself
- Dracula
- Stagger Lee
- Morgan LeFay
- Rogue Artificial Intelligence
- Shark-Themed Apocalypse
- Alien Invaders
- Zombies
- Organized Criminals
- Ninjas
- Cultists
- A Post-Apocalyptic Hellscape
- Hans Gruber
- Dr. Evil
- Marie Laveau
- Jack The Ripper
- Hitler
- Satan
- Trickster God of your choice
