We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post.
Sometime last year, I got involved in a reddit thread about women in gaming and ended up getting interviewed by Jamie from The Lonely d12. She posted the interview earlier this week, and I think I’m officially the first non-lady to be interviewed for their Ladies of Gaming series. Since I’m still easing back into coming up with stuff to say about gaming every week, I’m going take the easy route this week and give you a list, in this case of completely random characters that I’m going to make up as I go along based on (in some cases, slightly altered) random names generated at Behind The Name.
1. Suspiria Crimsondoom
Job: Motherfuckin’ Sorceress
Goal: To awaken ARARARARAR, God fo FIRE! and EVIL!
Fun Fact: Not her real name.
WWPHITM? Sarah Paulson
2. Bubba Ray Brady
Job: Quarterback
Goal: Regional Championship
Fun Fact: Surprisingly good at math
WWPHITM? Dave Franco
3. Almira Faust
Job: Wealthy Socialite
Goal: To get away with murder
Fun Fact: Has excellent marksmanship
WWPHITM? Catherine Zeta-Jones
4. Cosmicfreak Groovedropper
Job: Electronic Musician
Goal: Oneness with the universe
Fun Fact: Is SOOOOO high right now
WWPHITM? Terry Crews
5. Masher McNeil
Job: Small-time Crook
Goal: To pay off his debts
Fun Fact: Knows all the words to “Let it Go”
WWPHITM? Thomas Hayden Church
6. Bertrand Sinclair Orsini
Job: Rare book collector
Goal: Ancient occult knowledge
Fun Fact: Speaks 9 languages (3 of them dead)
WWPHITM? Oded Fehr
7. Carolina Hightower
Job: Local News Anchor
Goal: To become a household name
Fun Fact: Collects Barbies
WWPHITM? Hayden Panettiere
8. Gertrude Boothman
Job: Librarian
Goal: To finish her novel
Fun Fact: Used to be a dominatrix
WWPHITM? Betty White
9. Seveli Busto
Job: Pawnbroker
Goal: The American Dream
Fun Fact: Wears way too much cologne
WWPHITM? Tommy Wiseau
10. Felix Silva
Job: Safe Cracker
Goal: One last big score
Fun Fact: Fluent in Klingon
WWPHITM? Clifton Collins, Jr.
11. Icarus Aleshire
Job: Eccentric Inventor
Goal: To show them. SHOW THEM ALL!
Fun Fact: It’s pronounced “AL-i-shire”
WWPHITM? Kelsey Grammer
12. Heidi McKendrick
Job: Waitress
Goal: To get the hell out of this town
Fun Fact: Loves 80s music
WWPHITM? Reese Witherspoon
13. Landen Vaughn
Job: Fraternity President
Goal: Fast cars, faster women
Fun Fact: Majoring in Flying Disc Sports
WWPHITM? Bradley Cooper (from Wedding Crashers)
14. Chantal Lemieux
Job: Lawyer
Goal: Revenge
Fun Fact: Loves miniature golf
WWPHITM? Lyndie Greenwood
15. Crispus West
Job: Computer Scientist
Goal: To upload his brain to the cloud
Fun Fact: Owns several very valuable comic books
WWPHITM? Crispin Glover
16. Pandora Mercer
Job: Musician (Sales Associate)
Goal: To become a professional musician
Fun Fact: Raised in a commune
WWPHITM? Zooey Deschanel
17. Raphael Volk
Job: Fencing Instructor
Goal: To own a vineyard
Fun Fact: Has seen every John Woo movie ever made
WWPHITM? Hank Azaria
18. Nina Foster
Job: Tomboy
Goal: Adventure
Fun Fact: Inevitable stowaway/runaway; Someone should really call social services
WWPHITM? Maisie Williams
19. Alex Olsson
Job: Treasure Hunter/Ship Salvager
Goal: Discover something awesome
Fun Fact: Has a PhD in Archaeology (Oxford), Masters in History (Princeton), and Bachelor’s in Marine Biology (University of Phoenix)
WWPHITM? Chris Pratt
20. Europa Teague
Job: Crime Boss
Goal: Power
Fun Fact: Scared of clowns
WWPHITM? Katheryn Winnick
It’s really tempting to put these characters all in the same town and use it as a game setting. I’m at least 95% sure the town is in Florida. It might make a good backdrop for an M-Force game.
