{"id":645,"date":"2019-02-22T01:16:56","date_gmt":"2019-02-22T01:16:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/dumb-tables-the-absurd-plot-generator\/"},"modified":"2023-02-21T22:52:20","modified_gmt":"2023-02-21T22:52:20","slug":"dumb-tables-the-absurd-plot-generator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/dumb-tables-the-absurd-plot-generator\/","title":{"rendered":"Dumb Tables: The Absurd Plot Generator"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s a Dumb Table kind of week. I might convert this to a script at some point, but for the time being I\u2019m going to do it the old-fashioned way. Just follow along and roll on each table to generate your plot. Figuring out what the elements mean is your problem.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The PCs find themselves traveling through…<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. An alternate dimension with no shrimp<\/li>\n
  2. Possum Trot, Kentucky<\/li>\n
  3. Frostbite Falls, Minnesota<\/li>\n
  4. Welldigger\u2019s Ass, Alaska<\/li>\n
  5. Buzzard\u2019s Breath, New Mexico<\/li>\n
  6. Tinker\u2019s Dam, California<\/li>\n
  7. Indianapolis, Indiana<\/li>\n
  8. Junction City, Kansas<\/li>\n
  9. The sub-basement of One Hex Tower<\/li>\n
  10. Tool Town Federal Corrections Facility (Montana)<\/li>\n
  11. Radical City, Kansas<\/li>\n
  12. Caledonia, Massachusetts<\/li>\n
  13. Harm\u2019s Way, Louisiana<\/li>\n
  14. Ultra City, Minnesota<\/li>\n
  15. Collinsville, Illinois<\/li>\n
  16. Boone County, West Virginia<\/li>\n
  17. The steam tunnels below Michigan State University<\/li>\n
  18. Angler\u2019s Taint, Oregon<\/li>\n
  19. Sprooge\u2019s Pikertat, Middle Dakota<\/li>\n
  20. An alternate dimension where everything is shrimp<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Where they encounter\u2026<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. The Ancient and Honorable Order of Pricks<\/li>\n
    2. The KISS Foreign Legion<\/li>\n
    3. The Tony Danza Fan Club<\/li>\n
    4. The First Reformed Church of Priapus Ascending<\/li>\n
    5. The Dracula Initiative<\/li>\n
    6. Lyle Lovett and His Large Band<\/li>\n
    7. The Wombat Brotherhood<\/li>\n
    8. Acolytes of Leviathan<\/li>\n
    9. The Circus of Set<\/li>\n
    10. Discordians<\/li>\n
    11. Nihilists<\/li>\n
    12. Evil Elvis Impersonators<\/li>\n
    13. The League of Alphabetical Madmen<\/li>\n
    14. The Jack Parsons Project<\/li>\n
    15. Satan\u2019s Haberdashers<\/li>\n
    16. Zombie Reagan Cultists<\/li>\n
    17. The Senate Select Committee on Fancy Dinner Parties<\/li>\n
    18. The Salvador Dali Died For You Society<\/li>\n
    19. Abstract Expressionist Peloponnesian War Reenactors<\/li>\n
    20. The Occult Disciples of E. Gary Gygax, Super-Wizard<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Who are trying to\u2026<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Summon a powerful extra-dimensional entity using\u2026<\/li>\n
      2. Hold the world hostage with\u2026<\/li>\n
      3. Defeat Kevin Bacon using…<\/li>\n
      4. Open a gate to the underworld with…<\/li>\n
      5. Obtain phenomenal cosmic power through\u2026<\/li>\n
      6. Build a Tantric super computer using\u2026<\/li>\n
      7. Control time and space with\u2026<\/li>\n
      8. Enslave the human race with\u2026<\/li>\n
      9. Build a working faster than light engine that utilizes\u2026<\/li>\n
      10. Achieve immortality through the power of…<\/li>\n
      11. Destroy the world with\u2026<\/li>\n
      12. Determine the location of\u2026<\/li>\n
      13. Harness the power of\u2026<\/li>\n
      14. Kidnap The Devil by luring him to this dimension with…<\/li>\n
      15. Finally blow up the moon as soon as they obtain…<\/li>\n
      16. Create a pocket dimension with the power of…<\/li>\n
      17. Immanentize the eschaton with\u2026<\/li>\n
      18. Resurrect Richard Nixon with a ritual involving…<\/li>\n
      19. SHOW THEM ALL once they\u2019ve obtained…<\/li>\n
      20. Summon Godzilla with…<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
          \n
        1. ALF Pogs<\/li>\n
        2. Richard M. Nixon\u2019s bowling shoes<\/li>\n
        3. Hidden knowledge revealed through deciphering hidden messages coded into episodes of Mama\u2019s Family<\/li>\n
        4. Bigfoot\u2019s spleen<\/li>\n
        5. Jim Garrison\u2019s secret files<\/li>\n
        6. The unabridged original manuscript of Naked Lunch<\/li>\n
        7. The Roswell spacecraft<\/li>\n
        8. A series of Fortean-themed paintings by George W. Bush<\/li>\n
        9. David Lynch\u2019s dream journal<\/li>\n
        10. Hitler\u2019s brain<\/li>\n
        11. Mel Blanc\u2019s voice<\/li>\n
        12. A bag of magic beans<\/li>\n
        13. The magic bullet<\/li>\n
        14. The occult secrets of the Juggalos<\/li>\n
        15. John Oates\u2019 mustache<\/li>\n
        16. Smurfs<\/li>\n
        17. Journals detailing top-secret scientific experiments conducted by Stan Lee and Frank Zappa in the 1960s<\/li>\n
        18. The Vatican Library\u2019s secret collection of forbidden erotica<\/li>\n
        19. Adam West\u2019s Book of Shadows<\/li>\n
        20. The power of cheese<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

          It\u2019s a Dumb Table kind of week. I might convert this to a script at some point, but for the time being I\u2019m going to do it the old-fashioned way. Just follow along and roll on each table to generate your plot. Figuring out what the elements mean is your problem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3495,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1996],"tags":[886,1520],"class_list":["post-645","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dumb-tables","tag-dumb-tables","tag-adventure-ideas"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/645","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=645"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/645\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3411,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/645\/revisions\/3411"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3495"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=645"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=645"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=645"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}