{"id":548,"date":"2017-04-05T03:41:24","date_gmt":"2017-04-05T03:41:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/my-idea-debt-groovin-zed\/"},"modified":"2024-01-20T14:01:48","modified_gmt":"2024-01-20T20:01:48","slug":"my-idea-debt-groovin-zed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/my-idea-debt-groovin-zed\/","title":{"rendered":"My Idea Debt: Groovin’ Zed"},"content":{"rendered":"

The next chunk of idea debt in my Binders of Lore is technically titled The Groovin\u2019 Zed and the Roller Kings Intergalactic Tour Guide or some such nonsense, but I\u2019m going to stick with \u201cGroovin\u2019 Zed\u201d because I don\u2019t have all day. To properly appreciate Groovin\u2019 Zed, you have to understand that Leighton Connor and I have an unhealthy fascination with writing about musicians that don\u2019t exist. For example, you can still visit the shitty website for ANkST & ANkHS<\/a>, a band that we made up for a Dragon*Con mock flyer contest in 1996 (we won) and later created a geocities-o-licious website and elaborate backstory for. My first publication as Brainfart Press was a book called Obscure Early Bluesmen (Who Never Existed)<\/a>, a catalog of fictional blues greats. The point is, Leighton and I waste a whole lot of time making up information about bands that don\u2019t actually exist.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Groovin\u2019 Zed, like many Hex releases, was spawned from the super-hero game Leighton ran in college, which over the course of a few years turned into a big shared universe of interconnected games about whatever weird shit a player wanted to run a game about. There\u2019s a lot of material and game ideas scattered throughout Hex products that originated in the game we called \u201cThe Ficton.\u201d In fact, you can think of the Hex Ficton (the world where Hobomancer, M-Force, Fort High, Colin Thomas Presents Rasslin\u2019, and many other Hex products are set) as kind of a reboot of the original shared universe from Leighton\u2019s game.<\/p>\n

Anyway, one of the newer players, Eddie, decided one day that he wanted to run a game in the Ficton. I think he intended it to be a sort of X-Filesy conspiracy game (this was the 90s), but Eddie was young and new to GMing and made the serious error of telling us that the game was set in the 70s and that we should make characters who would know each other from the same bar. As soon as someone said, \u201cwe could play the band!,\u201d any chance of Eddie running a game that required the PCs to be anything but a bunch of stoned morons went up in smoke faster than a bag of weed at Tommy Chong’s house. Eddie either didn\u2019t fully realize this or decided to bravely persevere. We only played a few times, and I don\u2019t remember if the PCs ever actually got abducted by aliens or not, but that was the ending that eventually stuck. Later in the various games set in the universe there would be an occasional reference to the shitty band that disappeared in the 70s or their \u201chit\u201d song \u201cPeyote\u201d (which we usually assumed sounded like \u201cBerserker\u201d from Clerks).<\/p>\n

At some point, we decided to make a Groovin\u2019 Zed game where they became wildly popular in outer space despite their lack of talent and toured the galaxy getting into wacky adventures with their loyal hound Reefer. So pretty much Josie and the Pussycats in space, but with more drugs. Groovin\u2019 Zed made its first appearance in QAGS Second Edition, which even featured an awesome drawing of the band by one of our favorite artists, Gary Bedell. We even included ads for it at the back of a book or two in the post-QAGS era. Unfortunately, the actual game turned out to be vaporware.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Everything started out great. We decided to go with the tour guide conceit, which meant we got to write a bunch of dumb background information about the band. We wrote about the band\u2019s history, we wrote an interview with Groovin\u2019 Zed himself (\u201cwe’re bigger than Elvis! You, uh, don’t know what that means, do you?\u201d), we even wrote a little bit about the famous Love Ship, where the Jefferies Tubes double as the galaxy\u2019s biggest bong. And of course we created the Groovin\u2019 Zed discography, because Leighton and I love creating discographies for bands that don\u2019t exist, complete with critical commentary. I\u2019m going to include the whole \u201cAlbums\u201d section in its entirety, because it’s my blog and I love our dumbass discographies.<\/p>\n

Albums<\/h2>\n

Though many only know Groovin\u2019 Zed and the Roller Kings from their hit singles, the albums are where the band unleashes its full creative genius. \u00a0Shortly after the Roller Kings signed their contract they released their first album, Those Are Some Really Fucked Up Tentacle-Things on Your Head<\/em>. \u00a0It shot to the top of the charts, and deservedly so \u2013 the Roller Kings\u2019 trademark sound was there from the beginning, and no one had ever heard anything like it before. \u00a0But in retrospect, Tentacle Things<\/em> sounds confused, as though the band still didn\u2019t know what to make of their new life.<\/p>\n

With You May Call It Ssnoorupool, But I Call it Rock \u2018n\u2019 Roll<\/em>, the Roller Kings released their first masterpiece. \u00a0The songs reveal a band finally coming to terms with their change in locale, a band reflecting on their newfound status as intergalactic superstars. \u00a0In \u201cLook at Me Now\u201d Groovin\u2019 Zed mocks his friends, parents, high school English teacher, and various others who criticized him earlier in life. \u00a0When Zed bellows out, \u201cYou said I\u2019d amount to nothing\/But look at me now!\u201d you can hear the triumph in his voice. \u00a0But there are other emotions on display in Ssnoorupool<\/em>. \u00a0Zed shows his range with the touching \u201cIt Ain\u2019t Easy to Rock,\u201d a song that explores the difficulties of superstardom.<\/p>\n

Groovin\u2019 Zed and the Roller Kings have continued to release albums, and the level of quality has remained the same. \u00a0One particularly notable work is Zed\u2019s solo project Grllxxgaloelslfffly<\/em>. \u00a0Unbelievably, Zed recorded the entire album over the course of three hours. \u00a0Even more amazing, rumor has it he composed the songs there in the recording studio. \u00a0Though not Zed\u2019s most polished work, Grllxxgaloelslfffly<\/em> gives a unique insight into his creative process.<\/p>\n

Another of the band\u2019s most ambitious efforts is the rock opera Groovin\u2019 Zed and the Roller Kings Save Christmas<\/em>. \u00a0Christmas is, apparently, some sort of winter festival on the Roller Kings\u2019 home planet. \u00a0While we don\u2019t understand exactly what Christmas is, we\u2019re certainly thankful that Groovin\u2019 Zed and the Roller Kings have saved it.<\/p>\n

Those Are Some Really Fucked Up Tentacle-Things on Your Head<\/strong>
\n\u201cDamn! We’re in Space!\u201d
\n“Space Weed\u201d
\n\u201cThose Are Some Really Fucked Up Tentacle-Things on Your Head\u201d
\n\u201cKickin\u2019 Ass\u201d
\n\u201cTakin\u2019 Names\u201d
\n\u201cCheetos and Coors\u201d
\n\u201cAlien Blowjob\u201d<\/p>\n

You May Call it Ssnoorupool, But I Call it Rock ‘n’ Roll<\/strong>
\n\u201cLook at Me Now\u201d
\n\u201cGuitar Annihilation\u201d
\n\u201cI Don\u2019t Need a Universal Translator (to Say I Love You)\u201d
\n\u201cQuartank-Zeta Girls\u201d
\n\u201cIt Ain\u2019t Easy to Rock\u201d
\n\u201cCome On Baby\u201d
\n\u201cYou May Call it Ssnoorupool, But I Call it Rock ‘n’ Roll\u201d<\/p>\n

Grllxxgaloelslfffly<\/strong>
\n\u201cIs This On?\u201d
\n\u201cAll Kindsa Colors\u201d
\n\u201cSometimes, Maybe\u201d
\n\u201cWhat?\u201d
\n\u201cEverything is Love\u201d
\n\u201cNobody Appreciates Me\u201d
\n\u201cBad Trip\u201d
\n\u201cSeriously, I Think I\u2019m Going to Throw Up\u201d
\n\u201cGrllxxgaloelslfffly\u201d<\/p>\n

Groovin’ Zed and The Roller Kings Save Christmas<\/strong>
\n\u201cGroovin’ Zed and the Roller Kings Save Christmas (main theme)\u201d
\n\u201cThey’ve Never Even Heard of Christmas\u201d
\n\u201cGimpy the Sad Little Elf\u201d
\n\u201cSanta Needs Some Action\u201d
\n\u201cChristmas Peyote\u201d
\n\u201cNuclear Christmas Nightmare\u201d
\n\u201cRoller Kings to the Rescue\u201d
\n\u201cEbeneezer Scrooge vs. Frosty the Snowman\u201d
\n\u201cGroovin’ Zed and the Roller Kings Save Christmas (reprise)\u201d<\/p>\n

The largest (complete) section of the book is a mostly-complete catalog of the planets that Groovin\u2019 Zed and the Roller Kings will be visiting on their upcoming \u201cGood Shit\u201d tour. Here\u2019s a sample entry:<\/p>\n

Quartank-Zeta<\/h2>\n

World Overview:<\/strong> A thousand years ago Frngl Splb ran a hugely profitable casino on his home planet Bzzkll, until the moralistic rulers of Bzzkll shut the casino down. \u00a0Frngl barely escaped with his life. \u00a0He made his way to Quartank-Zeta, an unoccupied desert planet conveniently located between the borders of Bzzkll and Qlarisia\u2019s empires. \u00a0Free to do what he wanted, Frngl rebuilt his casino. \u00a0Over the years he expanded, making his establishment more and more elaborate. \u00a0After he died his descendants continued the expansion. \u00a0Eventually the casino covered the whole world and Quartank-Zeta became a thriving planet.<\/p>\n

Despite its origins, there\u2019s more to Quartank-Zeta than the casino. \u00a0There are also hotels, bars, restaurants, brothels, and spaceports. \u00a0Quartank-Zeta has more spaceports, per capita, than any other planet in the known galaxies. \u00a0This is partly because the economy is based on tourism, but mostly because the people of Quartank-Zeta produce no food or goods and are entirely dependent on imports.<\/p>\n

Notable People:<\/strong> Hrgl Splb is the planet\u2019s current manager. \u00a0If you find yourself in Mr. Splb\u2019s office, something has gone terribly, terribly wrong.<\/p>\n

The Show:<\/strong> Groovin\u2019 Zed and the Roller Kings will be playing in the eastern wing of the Quasar Center, taking the stage after Crimson Carella LaCronk and her Cosmic Carnal Contortionists.<\/p>\n

Accommodations:<\/strong> Quartank-Zeta boasts a staggering array of hotels, from tiny hovels with dirty sheets to extravagant palaces of pure luxury. \u00a0Depending on your luck at games of chance, you may have the opportunity to visit both extremes.<\/p>\n

Charming Local Customs:<\/strong> If you see a knife fight break out in a parking lot, it is customary to bet on the outcome.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Forget:<\/strong> Money, and lots of it.<\/p>\n

Make Sure You Visit:<\/strong> The brothel district. \u00a0Wanting to check out some of those famous establishments, but you\u2019re stuck with the kids? Not to worry! Most of Quartank-Zeta\u2019s brothels provide licensed childcare services. \u00a0Drop off the kids and have a good time. \u00a0You can pay by the hour, by the day, or (best value) by the week.<\/p>\n

Make Sure To Try:<\/strong> Plrngno, a game of skill and chance that seems to involve cards, dice, precipitation, body modification, and animal wrestling. \u00a0The rulebook runs over 700,00 pages and experts estimate that, at any given time, only 4% of the players have any idea what they\u2019re doing. \u00a0Who knows\u2013you might get lucky!<\/p>\n

Remember when I mentioned that projects often turn into Idea Debt when they start feeling like Real Work? Looking at what we\u2019ve got written, it\u2019s obvious that\u2019s what happened with this. Once we finished making up dumb shit about an imaginary band and making up stupid planets, we lost steam. The \u201cgame\u201d section (theoretically the point of the whole thing) is kind of an outline with a few lists and a couple of sketchy ideas. Leighton and I* occasionally added to the document over the years, but it was usually to add more nonsense about the band or another planet entry. The game section hasn\u2019t grown much. The file I\u2019ve got (which never even made it to Google Docs with most of our dead projects) was last modified in April of 2009, so it\u2019s pretty far off the radar.<\/p>\n

Looking over the file (which is just under 9,000 words), I could see how we could easily use the \u201cplug and play\u201d adventure format we used for things like Fratboys Vs. and Sharktoberfest to turn Groovin\u2019 Zed into a releasable product without a lot of work. The problem is that it\u2019s such an old idea that it\u2019s hard to get excited enough about to look at more than once every 8 years, much less actually work on, especially when there are so many other, newer projects that we want to work on. I\u2019d love to see it finished, but time is limited and there are other things I\u2019d rather work on. Maybe we can just skip the game part and publish all the stupid nonsense as a Brainfart book instead of a game.<\/p>\n

*Mostly Leighton. There are a lot of sections I couldn\u2019t tell you which of us wrote (or if we wrote them together), but the recognizable ones are mostly Leighton.<\/p>\n

The next chunk of idea debt in my Binders of Lore is technically titled The Groovin\u2019 Zed and the Roller Kings Intergalactic Tour Guide or some such nonsense, but I\u2019m going to stick with \u201cGroovin\u2019 Zed\u201d because I don\u2019t have all day. To properly appreciate Groovin\u2019 Zed, you have to understand that Leighton Connor and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":547,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2000,2052],"tags":[154,1520,1772,1793,1806,1808,1809,1810,2044],"class_list":["post-548","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-game-design-ramblings","category-the-hex-ficton","tag-groovin-zed-the-roller-kings","tag-adventure-ideas","tag-space","tag-idea-debt","tag-fake-bands","tag-peyote","tag-obscure-early-bluesmen","tag-elevator-pitch","tag-the-70s"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/548","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=548"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/548\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3339,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/548\/revisions\/3339"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/547"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=548"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=548"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=548"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"