{"id":546,"date":"2017-03-30T03:00:57","date_gmt":"2017-03-30T03:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/random-one-shot-la-novia-princesa\/"},"modified":"2023-02-23T02:55:30","modified_gmt":"2023-02-23T02:55:30","slug":"random-one-shot-la-novia-princesa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/random-one-shot-la-novia-princesa\/","title":{"rendered":"Random One-Shot: La Novia Princesa"},"content":{"rendered":"

The last few months on the blog I\u2019ve been rambling about creative projects, but most of my actual project time has been spent on re-working a game system, which (at least late in the project) is more about structure and math than creativity. So this week I\u2019m going to take a break and give the creative part of my brain some exercise with a random one-shot<\/a>. Usually I give the script one spin and make myself do one of the two random ideas it comes up with, but this time I cheated and kept reloading until something caught my interest. It\u2019s been a while since I\u2019ve played with a new idea, so I figured I should ease into it. The one that finally stuck was \u201cA Western Version of The Princess Bride as directed by Robert Rodriguez.\u201d Let\u2019s do it.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The Bad Guy<\/h1>\n

Humperdink Prince is the richest cattle baron in Florin, Texas, but a big herd needs a lot of land to really flourish. Prince has bought up what land he could get for a price he deemed reasonable (it rarely was) and, with the help of his brute squad, has managed to scare off most of those who wouldn\u2019t sell or wanted too much. There\u2019s just one hold-out: The Gilder clan. Jacob Gilder won\u2019t sell for any reasonable price and every time Humperdink\u2019s thugs have tried to intimidate the Gilders, they\u2019ve come back bloody.<\/p>\n

The Plan<\/h1>\n

Humperdink has recently convinced the local school teacher, Miss Bonita Flores, to be his bride. In addition to teaching the town\u2019s youth, Bonita works tirelessly to help the less fortunate, which has won her the love and respect of the people of Florin. She\u2019s been selected Cattle Drive Queen for the last three years running. Bonita\u2019s popularity is exactly why Humperdink has \u00a0decided she\u2019s of more use to him dead than alive. If she were to die and the hands of the Gilders, the whole clan would be strung up as soon as the posse caught up with them, leaving their land up for grabs. Luckily, Humperdink knows just the man for the job.<\/p>\n

The Plot<\/h1>\n

We\u2019re going to have to depart from the original story structure a bit, if only to avoid a situation where genre and style demand that one of the protagonists be reduced to a fine gooey pulp. Fezzik and Inigo can\u2019t be part of the plot to capture and kill Bonita. They\u2019re either working with Westley at the beginning of the story or, if you prefer to do the \u201cgetting the band back together\u201d (maybe with the sword fight and wrestling match from the original as flashbacks or part of the convincing) thing, they\u2019re old friends who Westley turns to when he finds out about Buttercup. The guys working for Vizzini are a future fine mist.<\/p>\n

Since the whole gang is there from the beginning and we don\u2019t want to lock into the plot of the movie, we\u2019re also going to get rid of the part where Westley and Buttercup get captured. If you really want to work in Count Rugen\u2019s torture machine and the abino, start the game with Westley as the Count\u2019s prisoner. Maybe overhearing Humperdink\u2019s plan is what forces him to make a daring escape and track down his old friends to save his love.<\/p>\n

For our purposes, the plot is broken down into two main segments: rescue and revenge. The first part of the story is about rescuing the princess from Vizzini. The assault on the castle is about taking Humpedink down, not rescuing Buttercup again. In fact, Buttercup may be the one who\u2019s leading the charge. In fact, if you don\u2019t mind playing the first half with a split party, she should probably be a PC.<\/p>\n

The Heroes<\/h1>\n

I\u2019m going to give the hero\u2019s stats in Cinemechanix rules (which you can get your hands on by joining the playtest group<\/a>).<\/p>\n

The Man In Black aka The Dread Bandito Roberto aka Farm Boy*<\/h2>\n

Role:<\/strong> Dashing Man of Action
\nBackstory:<\/strong> Ranch hand kidnapped by The Dread Bandito Roberto and trained as his replacement.
\nFatal Flaw:<\/strong> Overconfidence: The Man In Black has never been bested, and assumes he never will. He rushes headlong into danger, never considering the odds.
\nTrademarks:<\/strong> Gunfighting 2, Highly Intelligent 2, Brawling 2
\nDrawbacks:<\/strong> None
\nSpecial Effects:<\/strong> Immune to Rattlesnake Venom
\nHero Factor:<\/strong> 6
\nAcclaim:<\/strong> 6
\nStamina:<\/strong> 16
\nTag Line:<\/strong> \u201cComo tu desees.\u201d
\nWWPHITM?<\/strong> Wilmer Valderrama
\nPlot Devices:<\/strong> True Love, Fearsome Reputation (Dread Bandito Roberto)
\nTrivia:<\/strong> Not Left-Handed
\n*Not Westley. Giving him an actual name seems genre-inappropriate.<\/p>\n

Diego Montoya<\/h2>\n

Role:<\/strong> Flamboyant Gunfighter
\nBackstory:<\/strong> Gunsmith\u2019s son who\u2019s spent his whole life preparing for his revenge
\nFatal Flaw:<\/strong> Vengeance: Diego is consumed by his need for revenge and will stop at nothing to even the score when someone has wronged him.
\nTrademarks:<\/strong> Gunfighting 3, Drinking 2
\nDrawbacks:<\/strong> None
\nHero Factor:<\/strong> 5
\nAcclaim:<\/strong> 8
\nStamina:<\/strong> 15
\nTag Line:<\/strong> \u201cHello. My name is Diego Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.\u201d
\nWWPHITM?<\/strong> Benicio Del Toro
\nTrivia:<\/strong> Also Not Left-Handed<\/p>\n

Fuerto<\/h2>\n

Role:<\/strong> Reluctant Hired Muscle
\nBackstory:<\/strong> Gifted with enormous physical ability, found a way to earn a living from it.
\nFatal Flaw:<\/strong> Conflicted: Fuerto doesn\u2019t really want to hurt people, it\u2019s just his job. Fuerto doesn\u2019t have a problem thrashing faceless hordes, but even the slightest display of humanity from an opponent will make Fuerto feel bad about hurting them and possibly even hold back.
\nTrademarks:<\/strong> Strongman 3, Brawling 2
\nDrawbacks:<\/strong> None
\nSpecial Effects:<\/strong> Used to fighting groups. Fuerto never suffers a penalty to defense rolls no matter how many times he\u2019s attacked in a round. However he suffers 1 Drop when fighting against a single opponent.
\nHero Factor:<\/strong> 5
\nAcclaim:<\/strong> 8
\nStamina:<\/strong> 15
\nTag Line:<\/strong> \u201cI just want you to feel you\u2019re doing well\u201d
\nWWPHTIM?<\/strong> Danny Trejo
\nTrivia:<\/strong> Enjoys Rhyming<\/p>\n

Bonita Flores<\/h2>\n

The Princess is kind of bland, so we\u2019re going to have to punch her up a little to make her worthy of a Rodriguez heroine.
\nRole:<\/strong> Dedicated Community Activist
\nBackstory:<\/strong> Grew up on a farm.
\nFatal Flaw:<\/strong> Too Much Empathy: Bonita feels everyone\u2019s pain and feels obligated to help them in any way possible.
\nTrademarks:<\/strong> Resourceful 2, Charm 1, Well-Educated 1, Can Take Care of Herself 1
\nDrawbacks:<\/strong> None
\nHero Factor:<\/strong> 5
\nAcclaim:<\/strong> 8
\nStamina:<\/strong>\u00a015
\nTag Line:<\/strong> \u201cWhen I say you are a coward it is only because you are one of the slimiest weaklings to ever walk the earth!\u201d
\nWWPHTIM?<\/strong> Jessica Alba
\nPlot Devices:<\/strong> True Love, Beloved By Everyone (except that one old lady)
\nTrivia:<\/strong> Only agreed to marry Prince in hopes of convincing him to use some of his wealth and power for good.<\/p>\n

The Bad Guys<\/h1>\n

Humperdink Prince<\/h2>\n

Role:<\/strong> Rich Jerk
\nTrademarks:<\/strong> Dirty Tricks 2, Throw Money At It 2
\nDrawbacks:<\/strong> None
\nHero Factor:<\/strong> 4
\nAcclaim:<\/strong> 12
\nStamina:<\/strong> 14
\nTag Line:<\/strong> \u201cTyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I\u2019ve got the Cattle Drive Hoe-Down to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and the Gilders to frame for it. I\u2019m swamped!\u201d
\nWWPHITM?<\/strong> Josh Brolin
\nPlot Devices:<\/strong> Rich & Powerful<\/p>\n

Vicente<\/h2>\n

Role:<\/strong> Weaselly Criminal Mastermind
\nTrademarks:<\/strong> Dizzying Intellect 3, Crime 2, Strategy 1
\nDrawbacks:<\/strong> None
\nHero Factor:<\/strong> 6
\nAcclaim:<\/strong> 10
\nStamina:<\/strong> 16
\nTag Line:<\/strong> “Inconceivable!”
\nWWPHITM?<\/strong> John Turturro<\/p>\n

Sheriff Tyrone Rugan<\/h2>\n

Role:<\/strong> Dirty Cop
\nTrademarks:<\/strong> Tracking 2, Gunfighting 2, Torture 2
\nDrawbacks:<\/strong> None
\nHero Factor:<\/strong> 6
\nAcclaim:<\/strong> 6
\nStamina:<\/strong> 16
\nTag Line:<\/strong> \u201cHow Marvelous.\u201d
\nWWPHITM?<\/strong> Don Johnson
\nTrivia:<\/strong> Has 6 fingers on his right hand.<\/p>\n

Other Characters<\/h1>\n