{"id":409,"date":"2015-01-21T20:12:56","date_gmt":"2015-01-21T20:12:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/20-characters-i-just-now-made-up\/"},"modified":"2023-02-26T04:53:31","modified_gmt":"2023-02-26T04:53:31","slug":"20-characters-i-just-now-made-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/20-characters-i-just-now-made-up\/","title":{"rendered":"20 Characters I Just Now Made Up"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometime last year, I got involved in a reddit thread about women in gaming and ended up getting interviewed by Jamie from The Lonely d12. She posted the interview<\/a> earlier this week, and I think I\u2019m officially the first non-lady to be interviewed for their Ladies of Gaming series. Since I\u2019m still easing back into coming up with stuff to say about gaming every week, I\u2019m going take the easy route this week and give you a list, in this case of completely random characters that I\u2019m going to make up as I go along based on (in some cases, slightly altered) random names generated at Behind The Name<\/a>.<\/p>\n

1. Suspiria Crimsondoom<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Motherfuckin\u2019 Sorceress<\/p>\n

Goal: To awaken ARARARARAR, God fo FIRE! and EVIL!<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Not her real name.<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Sarah Paulson<\/p>\n

2. Bubba Ray Brady<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Quarterback<\/p>\n

Goal: Regional Championship<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Surprisingly good at math<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Dave Franco<\/p>\n

3. Almira Faust<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Wealthy Socialite<\/p>\n

Goal: To get away with murder<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Has excellent marksmanship<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Catherine Zeta-Jones<\/p>\n

4. Cosmicfreak Groovedropper<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Electronic Musician<\/p>\n

Goal: Oneness with the universe<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Is SOOOOO high right now<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Terry Crews<\/p>\n

5. Masher McNeil<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Small-time Crook<\/p>\n

Goal: To pay off his debts<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Knows all the words to \u201cLet it Go\u201d<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Thomas Hayden Church<\/p>\n

6. Bertrand Sinclair Orsini<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Rare book collector<\/p>\n

Goal: Ancient occult knowledge<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Speaks 9 languages (3 of them dead)<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Oded Fehr<\/p>\n

7. Carolina Hightower<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Local News Anchor<\/p>\n

Goal: To become a household name<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Collects Barbies<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Hayden Panettiere<\/p>\n

8. Gertrude Boothman<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Librarian<\/p>\n

Goal: To finish her novel<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Used to be a dominatrix<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Betty White<\/p>\n

9. Seveli Busto<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Pawnbroker<\/p>\n

Goal: The American Dream<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Wears way too much cologne<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Tommy Wiseau<\/p>\n

10. Felix Silva<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Safe Cracker<\/p>\n

Goal: One last big score<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Fluent in Klingon<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Clifton Collins, Jr.<\/p>\n

11. Icarus Aleshire<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Eccentric Inventor<\/p>\n

Goal: To show them. SHOW THEM ALL!<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: It\u2019s pronounced \u201cAL-i-shire\u201d<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Kelsey Grammer<\/p>\n

12. Heidi McKendrick<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Waitress<\/p>\n

Goal: To get the hell out of this town<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Loves 80s music<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Reese Witherspoon<\/p>\n

13. Landen Vaughn<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Fraternity President<\/p>\n

Goal: Fast cars, faster women<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Majoring in Flying Disc Sports<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Bradley Cooper (from Wedding Crashers)<\/p>\n

14. Chantal Lemieux<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Lawyer<\/p>\n

Goal: Revenge<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Loves miniature golf<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Lyndie Greenwood<\/p>\n

15. Crispus West<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Computer Scientist<\/p>\n

Goal: To upload his brain to the cloud<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Owns several very valuable comic books<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Crispin Glover<\/p>\n

16. Pandora Mercer<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Musician (Sales Associate)<\/p>\n

Goal: To become a professional musician<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Raised in a commune<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Zooey Deschanel<\/p>\n

17. Raphael Volk<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Fencing Instructor<\/p>\n

Goal: To own a vineyard<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Has seen every John Woo movie ever made<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Hank Azaria<\/p>\n

18. Nina Foster<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Tomboy<\/p>\n

Goal: Adventure<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Inevitable stowaway\/runaway; Someone should really call social services<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Maisie Williams<\/p>\n

19. Alex Olsson<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Treasure Hunter\/Ship Salvager<\/p>\n

Goal: Discover something awesome<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Has a PhD in Archaeology (Oxford), Masters in History (Princeton), and Bachelor\u2019s in Marine Biology (University of Phoenix)<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Chris Pratt<\/p>\n

20. Europa Teague<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job: Crime Boss<\/p>\n

Goal: Power<\/p>\n

Fun Fact: Scared of clowns<\/p>\n

WWPHITM? Katheryn Winnick<\/p>\n

It\u2019s really tempting to put these characters all in the same town and use it as a game setting. I\u2019m at least 95% sure the town is in <\/span>Florida. It might make a good backdrop for an M-Force game.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometime last year, I got involved in a reddit thread about women in gaming and ended up getting interviewed by Jamie from The Lonely d12. She posted the interview earlier this week, and I think I\u2019m officially the first non-lady to be interviewed for their Ladies of Gaming series. Since I\u2019m still easing back into…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3495,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1996],"tags":[153,886,1761,2097,2316],"class_list":["post-409","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dumb-tables","tag-m-force","tag-dumb-tables","tag-npcs","tag-ararararar","tag-lonely-d12"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/409","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=409"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/409\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3089,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/409\/revisions\/3089"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3495"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}