{"id":341,"date":"2012-10-30T15:07:45","date_gmt":"2012-10-30T15:07:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/tuesday-table-halloween-edition\/"},"modified":"2023-02-27T06:29:55","modified_gmt":"2023-02-27T06:29:55","slug":"tuesday-table-halloween-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/tuesday-table-halloween-edition\/","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday Table: Halloween Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

Because I’m topical as hell.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Random Halloween Costumes<\/b><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Not so much a costume as a bunch of random shit you’re not allowed to wear to work (for example, a star fleet uniform with fairy wings, a kilt, and vampire teeth)<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Regular clothes passed off as a costume. (“I’m a homicidal maniac–they look just like everyone else.”)<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. A historical figure (Abraham Lincoln, Lizzie Borden, Cleopatra)<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. A character from a fairy tale (Goldilocks, The Big Bad Wolf, Little Red Riding Hood)
    \n<\/span><\/li>\n
  5. A movie character (Machete, The Bride, John McClane)<\/span><\/li>\n
  6. A comic book character (Superman, Ambush Bug, Spider Jerusalem)<\/span><\/li>\n
  7. Costume based on a historical subculture\/profession (Pirate, hobo, cowboy)<\/span><\/li>\n
  8. Costume based on a contemporary subculture\/profession (Fireman, goth, celebutard)
    \n<\/span><\/li>\n
  9. A classic monster (Werewolf, vampire, ghost)<\/span><\/li>\n
  10. A character from science fiction\/fantasy (Drizzt, a Klingon, Buffy)<\/span><\/li>\n
  11. Re-roll, but your costume is the sexy version.
    \n<\/span><\/li>\n
  12. A video game character (Mario, Jill Valentine, Qbert)
    \n<\/span><\/li>\n
  13. A literary character (Tom Sawyer, Jane Eyre, Curious George)<\/span><\/li>\n
  14. A period costume (Victorian gentleman, 80s dude, 50s schoolgirl)<\/span><\/li>\n
  15. A period costume for an imaginary time period (Steampunk, post-apocalypse, and pretty much anything that looks like a David Bowie hand-me-down)
    \n<\/span><\/li>\n
  16. A political figure (Barack Obama, Richard Nixon, Sarah Palin)
    \n<\/span><\/li>\n
  17. A mythological character (Thor, Jesus, Eris)
    \n<\/span><\/li>\n
  18. Something extremely uncomfortable\/unwieldy (Mecha suit, anything with giant wings, binder full of women)<\/span><\/li>\n
  19. Something that’s been done to death (The Dude, Harley Quinn, Heath Leger Joker)<\/span><\/li>\n
  20. Some asshole with a horse head.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Random Tricks<\/b><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Mooning people<\/li>\n
    2. Making prank phone calls<\/li>\n
    3. Knocking on doors and running away<\/li>\n
    4. TPing yards<\/li>\n
    5. Soaping windows<\/li>\n
    6. Smashing pumpkins<\/li>\n
    7. Throwing rotten eggs<\/li>\n
    8. Scaring people<\/li>\n
    9. Turning over garbage cans<\/li>\n
    10. Setting off fireworks<\/li>\n
    11. Leaving burning bags of dog crap on doorsteps<\/li>\n
    12. Graffitti<\/li>\n
    13. Damaging private property<\/li>\n
    14. Damaging public property<\/li>\n
    15. Petty Theft<\/li>\n
    16. Arson<\/li>\n
    17. Animal Sacrifice<\/li>\n
    18. Conducting Satanic rituals<\/li>\n
    19. Human Sacrifice<\/li>\n
    20. Summoning Ancient Elder Gods<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Random Treats<\/b><\/p>\n

        \n
      1. A rock<\/li>\n
      2. Candy corn<\/li>\n
      3. Fruit<\/li>\n
      4. Chewing gum<\/li>\n
      5. Hard candy<\/li>\n
      6. Cookies<\/li>\n
      7. Bite-sized candy (M&Ms, Skittles, etc.)<\/li>\n
      8. Jelly beans<\/li>\n
      9. Fun sized candy bar<\/li>\n
      10. Gummi somethings<\/li>\n
      11. Licorice<\/li>\n
      12. Caramel apple<\/li>\n
      13. Full sized candy bar<\/li>\n
      14. Non-candy treat (cheap toy, toothbrush, religious tract, etc.)<\/li>\n
      15. Jawbreaker<\/li>\n
      16. Lollipop<\/li>\n
      17. Popcorn ball<\/li>\n
      18. Trail mix<\/li>\n
      19. Breath mints<\/li>\n
      20. Poisoned\/razor-blade filled treats<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

         <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Because I’m topical as hell.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3510,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1996],"tags":[2553,2413,2546,2547,2548,2549,2550,2551,2552,2330,2554,2555,2556,2557,2558,2559,2560,2561,886,121,406,442,584,705,712,721,812,43,1036,1042,1412,1418,1849,2033,2112],"class_list":["post-341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dumb-tables","tag-jill-valentine","tag-richard-nixon","tag-abraham-lincoln","tag-lizzie-borden","tag-cleopatra","tag-the-big-bad-wolf","tag-little-red-riding-hood","tag-the-bride","tag-mario","tag-ambush-bug","tag-qbert","tag-jane-eyre","tag-curious-george","tag-david-bowie","tag-steampunk","tag-thor","tag-harley-quinn","tag-heath-ledger","tag-dumb-tables","tag-john-mcclane","tag-the-dude","tag-spider-jerusalem","tag-jesus","tag-joker","tag-tom-sawyer","tag-eris","tag-superman","tag-qags","tag-goldilocks","tag-halloween","tag-barack-obama","tag-sarah-palin","tag-machete","tag-candy","tag-buffy-the-vampire-slayer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=341"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/341\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3951,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/341\/revisions\/3951"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3510"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deathcookie.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}