10 Fun Facts About The Hex Ficton

Category: Cussin' In Tongues
Created on Friday, 28 September 2018 Written by Steve

The last few weeks have been busy, in part because I’ve got two cons coming up in the next three weeks. This weekend, I’ll be running games at #SalukiCon in Carbondale, Illinois. Two weeks later is Archon in Collinsville, Illinois, where Hex Games will be officially celebrating its 20th anniversary (more on that in two weeks). The rush to get everything ready for the cons meant I skipped last week’s blog, so I wanted to do something this week. Inspired by a super-secret project I’m working on (some of you may be able to guess what it is based on the rest of the post) and the “10 Things About The Herrick Agency” post a couple weeks ago, I decided to do a quick list of 10 fun facts about The Hex Ficton. As most of you know, that’s the world where Hobomancer, M-Force, Weird Times at Charles Fort High, and numerous other games published by Hex take place. We always talk about it being a weird place. This list provides some insight into how weird it is. 

  1. There are technically 51 states in the Hex Ficton’s version of America, but most people don’t count Middle Dakota because it occupies an unstable patch of reality and can never be trusted to exist at any given time. Some scholars speculate that there is either another “hidden” state or that the U.S. is destined to add another state in the future. The main “evidence” for this theory is that Walt Whitman’s “Song of Myself” contains 52 numbered sections. Proponents of the theory argue that since Whitman wrote the poem specifically to preserve the union from the machinations of British agents, he must have had some prophetic knowledge that the most perfect Union would contain 52 states. A few have also tried to draw a connection to the number of cards in a standard poker deck, but these theories are considerably less reasonable. 
  2. In the Hex Ficton, Kevin Bacon is a powerful demon. The lower a person’s Bacon Number, the harder it is for them to resist his mind control powers. This fact was instrumental in his decision to take a role in JFK. 
  3. There’s an animated statue of Bruce Willis from the movie In Country that travels along the river bottoms of the Ohio, Mississippi, Cumberland, and Tennessee rivers, mostly in western Kentucky and Tennessee. Occasionally it will surface to terrorize a town or city. Before the statue came to life, it stood in Paducah, Kentucky, near where parts of the movie were filmed. 
  4. The Hex Ficton is home to a gang of world-travelling, crime-fighting street racers who serve the obscure St. Kathleen, “Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration.” Members of “the family” and the cars they drive appear to be completely resistant to the generally accepted laws of physics and causality. 
  5. Discordians believe that Andy Kaufman was whisked away from our reality by Eris and taken to “a big farm where he can run around and be weird and eat all the cheese he wants.” Discordians with knowledge of the other dimensions connected to our own believe that this “farm” is Qerth. Some claim that Kaufman is being groomed to take over for The Old Man when he retires. 
  6. Martians and Venusians have existed on Earth since the early 20th Century, when secret agents for the two planets used our world as a staging ground in their ages-old war against one another. When the two civilizations were destroyed, those left on earth were stranded here. For years they hid their true nature, but both races went public in the late 1960s and those born here are now recognized as full American citizens. Despite the generations of bitter warfare between the two cultures, many younger Martians and Venusians now often see one another as allies in their struggle against human bigotry. 
  7. There’s a persistent rumor that legendary Old West bounty hunter Jake “Six-Gun” Sawyer is still alive, though comatose, in an undisclosed location. According to the stories, Sawyer bears the scars of the werewolf attack that supposedly killed him, but otherwise looks much the same as he does in the famous photograph that hangs in the study of General Grant’s estate. 
  8. It’s common knowledge that William Faulkner was a time traveler, but few know that after he died he was selected as the Assistant Conductor on The Platonic Ideal of A Train, which Jesus uses to travel between dimensions. He has already heard the “So that means you’re Jesus’s co-pilot?” line and has never found it amusing. 
  9. One day, Stardust the Super Wizard will tear the planet Venus in half. 
  10. Although costumed crime fighting and parahumans using their powers to fight evil has gone in and out of fashion over the decades, one American city has fully embraced the idea of costumed crime fighters with super-powers. Ultra City, Minnesota, is home to The Ultra Squad, costumed heroes who have protected the city from the forces of evil--particularly their nemesis, Dr. Malevolent--for nearly half a century.

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